RANT: Underwear

Okay. Can I share something with you guys? Something that has been really bothering me lately?

Alright.

So, I have a problem with women's underwear.

There. I've said it.

Now, I know you are probably looking at the computer screen right now all squinty-eyed like, "Okay....now where are you going with this, Carlee...."

Okay, so I don't have a problem with ALL women's underwear, just most of them.

My problem is this: I like pretty underwear. Now, I know, I know, we've been fed all this crud by society all about how we women NEED pretty underwear in order to feel pretty, thus we NEED to go out and buy said pretty underwear. Consumerism, blah, blah, blah. I get it. I do. But really, I don't buy clothes, I don't buy "stuff" for the sake of being cool, feeling like I need it to be of worth, so let me have my underwear.

BUT pretty underwear in the past 10 years has gone down hill, and, ahem, up butt. My problem is that pretty underwear is now made on the cheap: less material, less elastic (sometimes no elastic!), and hence, it has a tendency to travel up the rear and give you a major wedgie. Okay, give me a major wedgie. And I hate it.

I AM BLOODY WELL SICK AND TIRED OF HAVING A WEDGIE!

There. I got it off my chest.

Seriously, though. How does the industry expect us to wear this:

...and not get a wedgie? I mean, do you know anyone who could fit an entire bum cheek into that back portion and have their bum fully covered?

No? You mean you don't know anyone who have triangle shaped cheeks and thighs that leave their body at a forty five degree angle?

Really?

Yeah. That's what I thought. And that black stuff probably isn't even elastic.

I mean, check out this chick at this link (I promise it's safe, just Victoria's Secret).

I mean, one third of her bum is covered, one third is hanging out, and the last third is photo shopped out. You know that as soon as she moves, she might as well have worn a thong.

Now, check these out from etsy user EgrettaGarzetta:

Full. Butt. Coverage.

And check these ones out from ohhhlulu:

Gorgeous, non?

See that gray stuff around the leg holes that is creating gentle ruching? Yeah, that means that there is elastic there.

WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT!?

Part of me really wants to complain that the mainstream fashion industry cannot give us pretty underwear that actually covers my whole bum, that we shouldn't have to go searching online for underwear that does not wedgie. But, part of me is telling that other part of me that, really, I should not be in the least surprised, and really, it is probably a good thing that if I want quality underwear, I need to start going to support the little guy, and not slave labour.

Okay. One last mention. I know some of you might be thinking: "Dude! What about the Amerson? You sew, so like, duh!"

Alright, I know, I know. It has been saved to my desktop for some time now. But I have a quilt to make (still), and a dress to make, and curtains to make, all of which seem more pressing at the moment. And I've never sewn with stretchy fabrics. So there's that hurdle too. I'll get there soon, just not now.

Until then, I will purchase a bum covering, but very plain pair of undies, save up for some pretty ones (Ohhhlulu, I'm looking at you.), and learn how to make them myself once and for all.

And, oh yeah. Sorry about all the yelling. :)

I hope you have a wedgie-free week.

What are your feelings on undies? Do you have wedgie-rage too?

{HAHAHA what a terrible song.}